| Author |
Message |
    
Tech808
Moderator
Username: Tech808
Post Number: 2384
Registered: 8-2002
| | Posted on Friday, May 14, 2004 - 7:52 am: | 
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GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandma's lap.
GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD:
1) Growing up is mandatory; growing old is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.
SUCCESS:
At age 4 success is . . not •••••• in your pants.
At age 12 success is . having friends.
At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 35 success is . . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not •••••• in your pants.
Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way; BUT NEVER forget the blessings that come each day.
Have a wonderful day 
Lon ~ Tech808 & Shirley ~ 1st Sargant 
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Bruce
Senior Member
Username: Bruce
Post Number: 1243
Registered: 9-2003
| | Posted on Friday, May 14, 2004 - 8:54 am: |
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Lon you forgot one
KIDS ARE THE BEST REVENGE FOR WHAT WE DID TO OUR MOMS. |
Sitm
Intermediate Member
Username: Sitm
Post Number: 142
Registered: 1-2004
| | Posted on Friday, May 14, 2004 - 2:12 pm: |
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This is the best laugh I have had in months.
Besides all the legal talk, thats funny too. |
Tech548
Moderator
Username: Tech548
Post Number: 46
Registered: 5-2004
| | Posted on Friday, May 14, 2004 - 2:24 pm: |
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That was great Lon.
That had to come from someone that's been there. Some of it I'm looking forward to.
Jeff. |
Nomeancity
Junior Member
Username: Nomeancity
Post Number: 45
Registered: 2-2004
| | Posted on Friday, May 14, 2004 - 5:06 pm: |
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Pretty good Lon & Shirley.
I liked that.
Don't look too forward to it tech 548, It caught up with me,with a vengence. FOUR of em!
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Tech548
Moderator
Username: Tech548
Post Number: 50
Registered: 5-2004
| | Posted on Saturday, May 15, 2004 - 12:37 am: |
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Nomeancity
I have 4 kids of my own and I'm a grandfather 6 times. I have experienced most of Lons' post but not all of it yet. I'm in no hurry.
Jeff. |
Tech237
Moderator
Username: Tech237
Post Number: 22
Registered: 4-2004
| | Posted on Saturday, May 15, 2004 - 9:16 am: |
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Well I am already planning on buying my forthcoming grandchild all those noisey toys that I couldnt have and that Jo didnt let her girls have.
When the grandchild reached 2yrs I'll add red drinks and chocolate BUT only just before it goes home..
Ahhh revenge is sweet when served cold. |
